THE FARTIONARY

Crawling fart: A fart broken up into beats in ascending or descending form. Must be at least 3 fart notes. The late David Hedman patented and mastered this earning the title of "Instructor of the crawling fart" now held by Hank Shitz.

Desu: Applies to any type of fart and means power by decibel level and length.

Classification of Farts:

Airfart: sounds like blowing or a gale force wind.

Apple fart: A semi-wet fruity fart similar to a chicken fart.

Banana: a long quick fart with a curved pitch like the shape of a banana.

Banana blaster: a desu banana.

Banana split: crawling banana.

Bee farts: sounds like a bee buzzing.

Cacophonous defecation: A series of dischordant loud shitfarts accompanied by diarrhea or liquidade.

Cherry fart: A high pitch squeak fart.

Cherry bomb: Desu cherryfart.

Chicken farts: sounds like a bwok.

Chicken broth: very wet sounding chicken; almost a shart.

Cowflop: A heavy big shit with massive logs.

Down the drain fart: Sounds like something going down a drain (see section 186).

Dutchoven fart: A hot, very wet fart contained in a bed under the sheets, in the pants or on a toilet bowl.

Dirt: Applies to dry farts and shit coated dingleberries.

Earthquake fart: The loudest possible fart (see steamroller or radio).

Egg fart: A wet fart with high concentration of sulphur.

Egg broth: Broth added to the eggfart to make it wetter and is the worst smelling fart in the fartionary.

Grape fart: soft small crawling fart.

Grapefruit fart: A low to high pitch wet desu fart.

Juicy: Applies to any type of fart with a wet, fluid like sound.

Kirshe: An odd sounding indescribable fart. 

Milk fart: Very wet, rich and creamy sound and smell.

Nasty fart: Horrific odor; usually wet and sharty.

Orange fart: A round, dry fart usually with no bad smell.

Radio fart: Sounds like tuning thru static radio, very desu, see section 196.

Raspberry fart: Very wet and sputtering, mainly desu.

Roaring rooster: A desu screaming chicken fart.

Screaming desu: Very loud high pitch screaming fart.

Shart: A fart resulting in a shitball or mud in the pants.

Shitfart: Farting out shit on the toilet (applies to all fart classifications).

Steamroller fart: The loudest shitfart ever recorded (see section 28) sounded like a 110 decibel steamroller.

Trumpet fart: sounds like notes of a trumpet, mainly crawling.

Trombone: Long, descending tune.

Weird farts: aka kirshes.

Zipper fart: sounds like a zipper being opened or closed slowly.